I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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