Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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