Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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