I need help removing her.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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