why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
