i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
