we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You don't make any sense
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