the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
