Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
