were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
