Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
