He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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