I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he shaved USA in his pubs
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
