i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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