why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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