is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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