I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
