Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
