You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
