remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
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I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
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