my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
