I'm going to jail i love you
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
