all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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