Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
