just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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