I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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