is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
