Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
