I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
