another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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