we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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