WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
