when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
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I intend to get homeless drunk
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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