Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
