theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize