she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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