took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
