You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
