I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
