she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
