The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
