I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
