I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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