apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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