Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
