you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
