It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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