hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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