At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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