problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
