It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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