There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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