is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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