a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I want her autograph on my taint
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
