people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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