In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
