it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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