dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
can you please not set my house on fire for once???