So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
