you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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