somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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