Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
