Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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