Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my shit smells like andre
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
