This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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