Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
