Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
